As a Fat Man

I must feel an eyesore when I walk the streets. I must tilt my head low for my skinny betters. I must hide my fat beneath uncomfortable clothes never designed for my body or be looked down upon. I must not show too much confidence or it will only mean I am in “denial” as to what I really am. I must remember what is outside of my league and what is in my reach. I must remember that I am lazy and slow. I must remind myself that I am stupid and need to be reminded I am fat by every other media sign. I must remember that I am a skinny man with added weight and incomplete in my current form and it can never be the other way around. I must remember there is a skinnier me that awaits me in my future to be freed by the wonders of exercise and diet. I must remember all my life’s happy endings will only come with me skinny and toned like they want me. I must remember until then that I am everyone’s most feared thing to be like. I must remember that I am nothing until this wondrous state of skinniness is mine. Though mostly I must remember that it is this terrible state of fatness that ravages my life and that I am most certainty losing for myself and no one else. I must remember it is not the poor treatment and insulting images that taught me self-loathing and alienated me. NO it is very important I remember it is my laziness and my failure to be thin, not the taunts of my youthful peers that made my life miserable. I must give in and let the self-loathing guide me to salvation in the gym, not for health, but for thin. After all it is me who must change for I am at fault, and the world needs not to change a bit. For I am a flaw in its perfect twin chains or so they tell me.